You’re Not Too Much — You’re Going Through Too Much

There were days during treatment where I didn’t recognise myself.
I wasn’t the strong one. I wasn’t the calm one. I wasn’t the version of me that people expected.

And I started to feel like I was too much.
Too emotional. Too angry. Too tired. Too needy.
Too unpredictable. Too intense. Too quiet. Too everything.

But here’s what I’ve learned — and what I want you to know too:
You’re not too much. You’re going through too much.

Cancer doesn’t just take aim at your body.
It shakes your identity, your relationships, your confidence, your future.
It puts you in survival mode — physically, mentally, emotionally — and then expects you to keep smiling, keep working, keep parenting, keep functioning.

But the truth is, most of us are just getting through.
And that’s enough.

There’s no gold star for holding it all in.
You don’t have to be inspirational.
You don’t have to be okay.

This is one of the reasons I created the journals — not to give you more to do, but to give you permission to fall apart a little. To feel. To say the things you can’t always say out loud.

You’re allowed to cry after the appointment.
You’re allowed to be angry at your body.
You’re allowed to grieve the version of life you thought you’d have.
You’re allowed to not want to talk.
And you’re allowed to need people — even if you don’t always know how to ask.

There’s nothing wrong with you.
Your feelings are not failures.
They’re just proof that you’re human — and hurting — and doing your absolute best with something you never asked for.

So if no one’s told you lately: I see you.
Not the brave face. Not the mask.
You.

And I promise, you are not too much.

— Hollie x